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Site Navigation. Office Hours Mon - Fri:. Reset Forgotten ePass Password If you have forgotten your ePass password, you may use this tool to reset your password and regain access to your account. I forgot my password. Verify Your Identity In order to proceed, you must first verify your identity. Security Questions In order to proceed, please answer the following questions. Choose New Password Please choose your new password. Enter password: Password strength. Even if partners have mutual love and commitment, they need to communicate this to each other by what they say and do.
If a problem arises, they need to talk it out and forgive rather than give each other the silent treatment and stew in their juices. Couples need to communicate about their hopes, dreams, fears and hurts as well as the daily details of life in order for the relationship to flourish.
Sex is a form of communication. You can bet that if partners are harboring resentment or not communicating appropriately, it shows in their sex life. So, how can you have a dynamic sex life? By developing the same qualities that contribute to a strong relationship: unconditional love, total and permanent commitment and clear, meaningful communication.
These qualities combine to help produce a maximum oneness and bring the greatest pleasure. Consider three reasons.
First, there is a practical reason for waiting. Premarital sex can detract from a strong relationship and a dynamic sex life.
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All too often, premarital sex ends up a self-seeking, self-gratifying experience. Very often premarital sex occurs in the absence of total and permanent commitment. This can bring insecurity into the relationship. Both short—and long—range problems can result, especially with the breakdown in trust. Premarital sex can also inhibit communication. And poor communication makes for poor sex. Bad feelings result, communication deteriorates and so does the relationship.
In short, premarital sex can put people at a disadvantage because it can lessen their chances to experience maximum oneness and pleasure. There is a second reason for waiting: None of the arguments for premarital sex are strong enough. But that is why it is important to decide beforehand—to think with your brain instead of your glands. Consider several common arguments. Would you try to emulate them? Should you? This is not to equate sex with sickness. You need a better reason. When I have the impulse, it needs to be satisfied. Believe it or not, you can live without sex. Even many marital pregnancies are unintended.
Even with all the modern contraceptives, there are one million teenage pregnancies in the U.
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Incidentally an estimated 55 million people in the U. Each year there are twelve million new STD infections in the U. About 6, people around the globe become infected with HIV daily. Condoms can slip, break and leak. The study took pains to exclude women at high risk of contracting HIV from sources other than their own infected sex partners. Self-fulfillment is hard to come by without self-respect. For Earvin his given name, i. Remember, too, that good sexual adjustment takes time, love and understanding.
Again, premarital sex can erode trust and communication. Even happily married couples often need several years to adjust sexually to each other. Besides, sex can cloud the issue.
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Sex is not the key to love. Love is the key to sex. They may discover that what they thought was love is only charged-up sex sensations. Chances are you know someone—perhaps yourself—who suffered a broken engagement. The public declaration at a wedding can be an important evidence of commitment. It takes a certain level of conviction to be able to state a commitment publicly. Affirming marriage vows in public helps give each partner greater assurance that each really means it. It can also act as a deterrent to future departure. Third, there is a moral reason for waiting.
According to biblical perspective, God clearly says to wait. He wants us to experience something better! Waiting until marriage can help you both have the confidence, security, trust and self-respect that a solid relationship needs. Waiting till our marriage before we had sex was the best decision we ever made. One final concept that is perhaps the greatest aid to fulfilling sex concerns relating as a total person. Human lives have three dimensions: Physical, mental and spiritual. If communication on any of these levels in a marriage is missing, the relationship is incomplete.
Some are surprised to learn that sex and spirituality can mix well. A highly-acclaimed University of Chicago study of sex in America found that among women, conservative Protestants were those most likely to report they always had an orgasm during intercourse. While that finding does not prove causation, the high correlation between spiritual commitment and sexual pleasure prompted the researchers to note that the image of Christians as sexually repressed may be a myth.
Certainly biblical writers support a healthy view of sexuality.
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For example the Hebrew Song of Solomon, a beautiful and passionate love story, has been called one of the best sex manuals ever written. Consider this perspective: Relating on a spiritual level centers around the most unique person of history, Jesus of Nazareth. Love never fails…. During His time on earth, Christ explained that everyone is born physically alive but spiritually dead.
In order to properly relate on a spiritual level, He said, one must be spiritually reborn.
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Jesus offers a life that has power. Anyone can be completely forgiven if he or she will come to Christ. He can restore the freedom of mutual love and trust in a relationship. All you need to do to begin this spiritual journey is simply to believe that Christ died for you, ask for and accept the forgiveness He offers, and invite the living Christ into your life. Thanks for dying for me. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior.
Give me the fulfilling life You promised. The maturing Christian experiences the most challenging and rewarding life possible. Two marriage partners having growing relationships with God will grow closer to each other: spirit to spirit, mind to mind, body to body. Their love, commitment and communication will become increasingly dynamic, and so will their sex. Anthony Pietropinto, M.